Hetalia Funny Quotes Hetalia Finland Shut Your Little Whore Mouth I Got This

Hetalia characters as things I have said and heard in high school

America: Bernard Marx (A Brave New World) has incel energy and I will not elaborate

Canada: that's defiling the sanctity of poutine(about putting ketchup on poutine)

Italy: thinking about running makes me tired

S. Korea: That's not very poggers (stabbed self in cooking class)

Germany: this avocado is so hard you could kill a small child with it.

Iceland: they won't let me play my chemical romance at grad!

America: yeah it hurts to stand but I wanna win this soccer tournament

Japan: this rubric is BULLSHIT

China: oh to be a giant panda in chengdu research center

France: the world was blessed the day I was born

England: my baking is fantastic, you're just an idiot.

Hungary: I'm not mature, I have mommy issues.

Russia: he called me an emo commie!

Honorable mention: "Fuck your sausage!"-Me in cooking class

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Guys, he is THICK. RICH. and does NOT have ANY high fructose corn syrup!!!!!!!!

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How to Kill a Man in his Sleep Using Only his Mustache and a Grape

Place a grape into the back of the mouth of the sleeping man. Then, yank on his mustache so he gasps in pain, which will pull the grape into his throat to get stuck there. He will choke and die.

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incorrect Quote from here art by Himaruya

Finally Done, Enjoy! Btw I found Hetalia's font. I'm interested in hearing your feedback.

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From the dubbed Centennial Gift episode:

England: *looking like he's on the brink of death* Surprise! I brought a special birthday gift for you.

America: Dude, this is a celebration, not a Disney villain conference, so knock that off!

If, for whatever reason, America legitimately held a Disney villain conference and they all dressed up, that would be amazing.

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Messeging each other

Ivan: I feel like every time I give you a chance you go off and ruin it.

Alfred: Lol goodnight.

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There are three types of couples

Kiku: I'm cold.

Alfred: Take my jacket!

Feliciano: I'm also cold.

Ludwig: I told you to bring an extra coat *takes off jacket* You're going to get sick like this.

Francis: I'm so cold.

Arthur: Too bad, I can't change the weather.

(Original quote from Twitter, I just changed the characters involved)

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"Magic metal pipe of pain"

-aph Russia

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No one:

Absolutely no one:

Greece to Turkey: tHoTtHoEmAn EmPiRe 🦃🦃🦃

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Yo, can you list your fave hetalia quotes? How about doing fave daily quotes from finland or the nordics?

Oh my god, there is so many. Here are some I can list from the top of my head:

Denmark: Finny! Shut your whore mouth! I can tell them who I am!

Finland: I'm more like a delicate flower (lies)

America, on the phone: hey Russia, you think you can make me like ten thousand twenty-five centimeter condoms?

Finland, next to his sleigh: I can't wait Christmas is coming *gets transformed into a pictonian* ho ho ho!

China: this is a matter of gay or death (this one got me screaming)

Italy: I know I'm weak but at least I'm cute (mood)

Germany, after Italy told him to smile: nein, my face is okay just the way it is (I want his confidence)

There is a bunch more but I will get to those later! I wish I could remember some from the manga as well, some characters had some priceless one-liners.

As for the daily quotes, it's a great idea but I don't think I can manage to do that now. But I will consider it in the future! ❤️😁

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Canada: "Take it slow, avoid caffeine, don't put yourself into situations that you know will make you anxious, eat well and regularly"

America on 1-95 with an iced coffee on the way to hang out with Russia: "I should go VEGAN"

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I think alfred drives this..

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Probably aph Germany at some point:

"Finished alphabetizing my apps, things are right in the world"

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Home alone

Aph America: Hello, Russia! My family is busy so I'm tecnically home alone and I have a little surprise! Oh, bring the USSR suit, you know I like that! Bye, see you later!

A few hours later

(Knock, knock)

Aph America: It must be Russia (opens the door) Heh, Iggy and France.

Aph England: Hello, America. Can you at least let us in?

Aph America: Yeah... come in.

Aph France: Bonjour, mon petit. What is happening to you, you seem quiet?

Aph America: I'm busy. I have a meeting in a few minutes.

Aph England: Well, I don't bloody care! Canada called us to tell that you have been missing in action a few times and he's worried about you!

Aph America: I've been busy.

Aph France: Busy with what, mon cher.

(Door opens suddently)

Aph Russia: America, I brought the handcuffs!

Aph England: ...

Aph France: ...

Aph America: I can explain.

Aph England: Your a deviant like France!

Aph France: Ohohohoh, I'm so proud of you!

Aph America: Oh god, kill me now.

@anamelodemelo

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I'm Back!! This incorrect Quote is from @hetaliashitpostingftw Enjoy! I'm sorry for not posting in so long!

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Croatia: I think Venice and Italy influenced you too much.

Pula: *eating fuži pasta with truffles* What the fuck are you saying?

Croatia: The truth.

Pula: *looks at his dish* ...Maybe you're right.

Croatia: Maybe?

Pula: ...Yeah, you're right.

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"Seborga is like the best of both brothers. Like Veneziano, he's always happy and smiling. Like Romano, he actually keeps his fucking eyes open."

— APH Molossia, to America and Canada

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SuFin

Finland ; honestly , you need to change . . i mean , ikea isn't even that good !

Sweden ; . .

Finland ; . . .

Finland , now worried ; are you . . crying ?

Sweden , actually crying ; yes . but only because you said ikea isn't good .

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Smut head cannon? Sometimes Alfred wears chaps, a cow boy hat and a cow boy vest but without pants or a shirt under them and pretends to act sexy to s/o. Whether the s/o thinks it is funny or sexy is up to you to decide.

Oh ho ho I can see this!

S/o:…..Al, what are you wearing?

Alfred: I figured the horse could use a rest. You know what they say: save a horse, ride a cowboy. ;3

S/o: We don't have a horse.

Alfred: Well, actually?

S/o: Did you buy a horse? Alfred!

Alfred: Heheheh don't pay attention to that fact, here here, I got my cock out for you.

S/o: Oh my god, Al, I'm going to kill you…After I ride you…I'm going to ride you to death.

Alfred: ….maybe not ride me that much please? I kinda want to live.

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Maybe you should have learned…to smile a little more naturally.

America to Italy (later vice versa), HetaOni

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easterlingforer1944.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.tumgir.com/tag/Hetalia%20Quotes

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